I have this book that I read a few months ago called “Feeling Good” it helped me learn about ways of taking negative Irrational thoughts and taking away the power that I give them. For example.. “Nobody likes me.” This irrational there are lots of people that like me, but just because this one person doesn’t, does not mean that nobody does. Make sense? Ok, well I have gotten into the habit of buying into these types of thoughts, and also buying into negative things people say which than makes me feel down and depressed. So, I have decided to try and put more energy into “Being Happy” rather than wallowing in the negative stuff, mainly Patrick being away and being alone.
There are several people around the area that I could hang out with, but because of these irrational thoughts of. “Well, I latch on too people so they won’t want to really hang out.”, “I am a downer no one will want to hang out with me.”, “I have 3 kids there’s no way I can find a babysitter”. Stuff like that, just constant self defeating thoughts. Heck, no body told me these things I just seem to think I can “Read Minds” that’s irrational. This book has really helped me and I am sorry that I put it down and haven’t given it much thought for the past few months. I was doing MUCH better when I would at least give it a quick once over here and there as a reminder of how some thoughts are just not true, and also the things that are positive about me how I discount them which is also irrational. For example, I can be a really good dependable friend. I am a good Mom. I don’t profess to be the Best at anything, but being good, or even a bit above average is great for me. But in my mind I’d just focus on all the things I wasn’t doing, and than think how this made me bad, or just overgernalize and say that “I’m a Bad friend” or that “I’m a bad Mom”.
So, instead of this being an “Anger Journal” like I had first started it to be, I’m going to make it a Thankfulness journal and other stuff of course.
So to start out I just want to say today I am particularly thankful that I’m feeling better and this cold is going away. I am VERY thankful for my 3 sweet wonderful kids they are fun, kind and thoughtful, and even when they do things wrong they sometimes are pretty cute. (I don’t let them know that though) I am thankful that we live in a house that we are buying rather than renting. The extra responsibility of it is kind of daunting at times, but I am thankful for My home. Umm, I’m thankful for being able to take classes and work toward a degree.
Ok well, speaking of school I better get ready to go to class. We’ll see how this goes with being Thankful daily in this journal.